Crisis in Nevada, Not Enough Pot

I ❤️ Nevada

Recently, the Governor of Nevada has declared a state of emergency due to the severe shortage in recreational marijuana. Less than a week after going on sale following legalization in November, officials underestimated the number of potheads in the state leading to the massive shortfall.

The Nevada Tax Commission issued the following statement,

"Based on reports of adult-use marijuana sales already far exceeding the industry’s expectations at the state’s 47 licensed retail marijuana stores, and the reality that many stores are running out of inventory, the Department must address the lack of distributors immediately."

The problem started when the transportation of ganja was given exclusively to alcohol distributors in accordance with state law and the Mafia. The alcohol distributors were not able to keep up with the high demand. The state legislature is voting on an emergency provision which would allow distributors of medical weed to backfill in response to the severe shortage. They're also considering allowing a guy named "Lil' Monty" to help out since he's uniquely qualified to meet the growing demand.

"I got hookup on 'dis shit, solid gold, foe as many peeps as you want. Nome wat I sayin'?" said Monty.

The liquor wholesalers were taken completely off guard by the sheer volume of reefer sales. Jimmy "Socks" Scalise said,

"Madonne! These guys want cronic, you know, da good stuff. No schwag for these chooches."

The shortage of Mary Jane has reached crisis proportions since sales began last week. Spokesperson for the Department of Taxation, Stephanie Klapstein, said,

"The business owners in this industry have invested hundreds of millions of dollars to build facilities across the state. They have hired and trained thousands of additional employees... Unless the issue... is resolved quickly, the inability to deliver product to retail stores will result in many of these people losing their jobs and will bring this nascent market to a grinding halt. A halt in this market will lead to a hole in the state’s school budget."

A state imposed 15% "cultivation tax" on recreational bud goes toward schools much like the proceed for gaming in Atlantic City was supposed to support public education. State officials plan to backfill the budgetary hole with funds for medication alotted to low income seniors and from the Head Start Program.

An unnamed Nevadan official said,

"Nevada is the only state in which paying for a piece of ass is legal and regulated so it's no surprise that we'll lead the country into recreational pot smoking. If schools are impacted by budgetary constraints, superfluous programs like STEM will be cut to save gym. It's about priorities."

It's important to keep the gambling community well supplied with booze, ass and now pot in order to fuel the state economy. Next year, Nevadans will vote on a statewide referendum to legalizing money laundering to help the slumping economy.