Same Candidate, Different Election Day

Back in 2016, I wrote about the candidates that we were to select from in the upcoming election. I was especially interested in the third party nominees because I wasn't so sure about who the Republican and Democrat parties were pushing. Of course Donald Trump and Mike Pence beat out Hillary Clinton and some white guy she picked for a running mate. This past summer, I penned a guide to the 25 Democrat candidates vying for the White House. As all the people of color and women fell by the wayside, the last two standing were too old white guys. In the fall Bernie Sanders was almost fitted for a pine box as he was introduced to the words "myocardial infraction." Doctors slapped two stents into his clogged coronary artery, propped him up, then shoved him back into the fight. All Bernie's socialists ideas proved too radical for voters who settled on Joe Biden because he was widely regarded as an experienced centrist.

No one was more surprised than Biden when they told him that he had won. The first thing he said was,

"I call the Lincoln bedroom!"

His campaign advisers had to explain to him that he had just won his parties nomination, not the presidency and that the next step was to select a running mate who had to be a woke women. Later they further qualified the choice to a Black woke women which really pissed off Elizabeth Warren. She used to be a person of color until the results of her DNA test refuted her mammaw's family lore that although her grandfather had high cheekbones "like all of the Indians do," Warren is, in fact, not Native American.

The short list included California Representative Karen Bass, former National Security Advisor Susan Rice, Florida Representative Val Demmings and Senator Kamala Harris. All except Rice played significant roles in the House impeachment of Trump which made them look like they could take on the President. Rice had a role in the Russian collusion shit storm, the origins of which are being investigated by United States Attorney John Durham. Durham is known to be fair, impartial and unbiased, but I'm sure the mainstream media will describe him as "one of Trump's hired thugs" if his investigation implicates the Obama Administration for approving a plan to vilify Trump "by stirring up a scandal claiming interference by Russian security service" in attempts to deflect attention away from Hillary's private email debacle. 

Clinton repeatedly referred to Trump as an “illegitimate president” who colluded with the Russians to steal the election. She never exactly said what the Russians did except some vague remarks about false ads on social media. The Russians can’t make a car in which you can roll up the window, and we’re supposed to believe they used Facebook to change the outcome of the election? Now it’s Trump’s turn to claim the election was stolen and fraudulent.

Kamala Harris seemed like she'd be on the bottom of that short list since apart from backing Tara Reid's sexual assault allegation, she called out Biden during the debates for his stance on busing. Back in the 70's, Biden was vocally against the policy. Even though Harris recalled the story that she was bused to school as a little girl, desegregating schools by shuffling kids to other counties was very unpopular in Black communities. Many parents felt sending kids outside of their neighborhood left them feeling disconnected. In 1977, the Supreme Court determined that busing across district lines was unconstitutional.

In 2010, a little known Kamala Harris was running for District Attorney in California against three-term incumbent Steve Cooley. Ballot harvesting was not widely employed back then, but rumors circulated that Harris's team conducted mail ballot operations. The morning after the election, Cooley had won by a razor thin margin of less than a percentage point. Harris refused to concede. In the following weeks mail-in ballots were counted and contested in counties that were favorable to Harris. The final tally had Harris in the lead by 0.8% giving her the victory.

This election will see 80 million mail-in votes cast with ballot harvesting efforts underway in full force. Hillary Clinton publicly advised Biden "not to concede under any circumstance." She urged teams of supporters to work the polls and declared that eventually Biden will win. Unless the results are a landslide, the outcome will likely be contested for weeks, maybe months. Perhaps Kamala Harris was picked for her expertise and experience with data mining ballots for votes.

Harris certainly was not selected for her stellar knowledge of American history. During the vice presidential debates, she recalled a story that Abe Lincoln opted not to fill a seat on the Supreme Court prior to the election. Quoting Lincoln, Harris said,

"The American people deserve to make the decision about who will be the next president of the United States, and then that person will be able to select who will serve on the highest court of the land.”

Harris's history lesson was a fitting cautionary tale for the rushed appointment of Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court, just eight days before the election. The only problem with this anecdote is that it's completely false. Lincoln couldn't have filled the vacancy on the court prior to the election since Congress was in recess until December. I’m surprised that Kamala didn’t mention all the other things Honest Abe did along with waiting until after the election to submit his nominee. Lincoln also wanted to get rid of the filibuster, pack the court, and spring for college and healthcare for people who walked into the country from Guatemala. He was an advocate for limiting the clip size in automatic weapons as well as spoke out about Global Warming in the Gettysburg Address which he delivered while wearing a mask.

As the election neared, the polls consistently showed Biden leading Trump, sometimes by double digits, even though Biden sometimes says incoherent things reminiscent of Ralphie's father wrestling with the furnace in A Christmas Story. The news media by and large refuses to pose any real questions to Biden even though it is unlikely that as the Leader of the Free World the foreign press and other heads of state will treat him so tenderly.

The other day Biden was buying ice cream at a local stand. Instead of quizzing the former vice president on the email which refers to the "big guy" receiving $10 million from a Chinese investment firm, a reporter asked him,

"Mr. Biden! What flavor did you get?"

Biden briefly studied his cup before he summoned,

"We got one vanilla, one chocolate. I wanted to get what we call a black and white."

A this point one of Biden's handlers can be heard saying,

"Oh, please no."

Biden continued,

"We're gonna move it, you know split it."

Thank God he didn't say that he puts the chocolate on the bottom and the vanilla on the top because that’s the way they always did it in Scranton.

I know Trump says far worse things, and his tweets make even his ardent supporters cringe with anticipation, but at least he's intelligible. Michael Moore gets it better than all of those who can't seem to get past the President’s orange hue. Sure, when Trump dances to the Village People’s YMCA, he looks like he’s flossing his head, but that doesn’t make him a white supremacist. Moore states that "Biden is pretty much doing what Hillary did" while referring to Trump as "smarter than all of us." The Democrats expect a different outcome after moving further left of the lessons learned in 2016 when people didn’t actually vote for Trump; they voted against Hillary.

How will history recall these events? It takes time but eventually an investigative journalist will unearth the truth. That’s how we know that the Civil War was really fought over women's reproductive rights.

Editor’s Note: People did not vote for Biden either; they voted against Trump. As in 2016, hate won out.