Pot in Every Chicken

This summer the People's Republic of Connecticut became the 19th state to legalize recreational marijuana, leaving Rhode Island and New Hampshire as the lone New England hold outs. In the Granite State, pot is decriminalized up to 3/4 oz for medical use only. It's no wonder that grass remains illegal in New Hampshire since the state has the fourth largest English speaking legislative body in the world with 400 members. Imagine how difficult it is to win a majority with so many voices who drive trucks with at least one door a different color. Today, we are voting in my town on a referendum to decide if people will be allowed to get high on public property. You can't openly drink alcohol here, but after today we might be able to toke up in the borough while strolling by the antique shops, bookstores and bistros. I'm doubtful that my fellow citizens will be brave enough with their vote to tell their inner child that this is just not a good idea; after all, most of them eat danish for breakfast.

My sum total of drug usage began and ended on Halloween in 1980 when I was 16 years old. After egging the telephone booth outside the local 7-Eleven, Frank Lamb and I took off up the street. When far enough away, we stopped to catch our breaths. Frank lit a joint which he handed to me. I took one hit and gave it back. A few years later while applying to an officer program in the military, I was filling out forms in a recruiter's office. One question read,

"Have you ever smoked marijuana?"

Recalling my days as a hooligan, I checked "Yes."

After reviewing my input, the recruiter gave me another form then advised me to say that my pot smoking was only "experimental" at college parties. I explained that it was before college, and I wouldn't characterize it as experimental.

"How often did you get high?" he asked concernedly.

"Never," I answered.

"But you just said you smoked pot!" he insisted.

"Yeah, I took one hit off a joint that Frank Lamb handed me on Halloween in high school."

The recruiter grabbed my application and crumbled it up then placed a blank form in front of me while advising that I fill it out again except this time check "No" on the dope question.

The main reason I avoided drugs in my youth was because in the 70s I was too young for the free love, turn on, tune in, drop out counter-culture of the hippy generation. Truth be known, hippies on the east coast were not mellow, peace loving, bohemian, flower children who just liked to get high while listening to Jimmy Hendrix and Peter, Paul and Mary. They were mostly jerks who bullied younger kids like me for just being near them on a day when they ran out of doobage. The first lesson I learned about ganja as a kid was that while smoking pot makes you mellow, most burnouts get pretty ornery when they come down.

I had a longtime friend who unbeknownst to me smoked pot on a regular basis. When we got together for a cookout at either of our homes or dinner in town, he was so down to earth calm that I believed that's just the kind of person he was. Once when I spent a full day with him helping with a home repair, I noticed as the day wore on he became increasingly agitated. When we took a break for lunch at a local sandwich shop, he hassled the waitress so badly that I ordered something different from him just to ensure I didn't get the sandwich with the spit in it. As he left his half of the tip, he dropped four dollars into the pile of cash on the table while retrieving the five dollar bill I landed.

Exiting the sandwich shop, I suggested that we make another trip to the hardware store to exchange the plumbing fitting I recommended earlier that morning. Upon returning to his car, he launched into a profanity laced tirade that included an assessment of my home improvement skills which he deemed "not worth the ink on my grandfather's naturalization papers." As he drove to the hardware store which I believe he thought was Beyond Thunderdome, he tailgated vehicles while spewing a stream of consciousness in critique of their inferior driving abilities. At the hardware store, he was so dissatisfied with the service from the guy trying to help us that he freely associated descriptive terms with his most prominent physical features.

What I didn't know at the time was that the plumbing project he wanted help with was going to last longer than the buzz he put on before I arrived. He never lit up in front of me and had only recently admitted to smoking marijuana frequently, noting that I likely didn't approve. He was right. I don't approve of smoking weed. Not because it's bad for you, or because it's addictive. Not because chronic use will cause stomach ailments or throat cancer. No, I hate it because most people who habitually smoke pot are douchebags when they're not high, and they don't even know it.

There's a lot of myths spread on social media about Mary Jane that don't get censored by the independent fact-checkers as assuredly as comments claiming that the past summer was unusually cold. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and National Institute of Health (NIH) cannabis is addictive, but so many people refute this that they use the term "marijuana use disorder" instead. The younger you start toking up the more likely you are to develop a disorder. Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome is a condition in which long-term regular marijuana use causes frequent and violent upchucking. The American Cancer Society is against smoking and vaping pot in public because the smoke contains numerous carcinogens. In 2017, the number of fatal car crashes in which the driver was high on hemp doubled in Washington state five years after legalization. A 2019 study published in JAMA Psychiatry determined that marijuana use among 12 to 17 years olds was 25% higher after legalization.

There are plenty of conflicting studies on the internet that indicate usage did not increase after legalization and tout the medical benefits of getting high. But if you look closely at the URLs for these sites, you'll see that they point to some stoner's blog or a site promoting bud. You can find many studies which conclude that pot is not a gateway drug, that smoking weed does not lead to the use of more potent drugs like cocaine. While it is true not everyone who smokes reefer will end up a heroin addict, it’s equally true that most, if not all, hardcore drug users started out with weed.

Recently, I took our ten year old, William, to a routine end of summer checkup. As the examination wrapped up, the doctor asked him if anyone he knows vapes marijuana. William thought a moment then answered, "No." I was perhaps naively surprised that she asked such a question until she informed me that vaping pot is on the rise in his age group because parents consider cannabis to be safe, even beneficial, now that it is legal in many states.

A passionate pothead colleague of mine once said that I didn't have a clue what I was talking about because I "don't smoke pot." He was right. I don't smoke pot, but I'm unsure as to why he thought regularly ingesting a mind altering drug would lend credence to his opinion. The exchange reminded me of comments made by author and columnist, Fran Lebowitz, in the Martin Scorsese's Netflix docu-series, Pretend It's a City. Lebowitz said,

"I do have friends who are around my age or even older who I know to have been daily marijuana smokers for 50 years. These are not the most acute people on the planet. Let me assure you that there is an aggregate effect. Because I knew them maybe when they started, OK? So they're not like, dangerous people, but maybe they're not the people you would consult anymore."

While you may no longer seek their advice and they may not be threatening, I’m pretty certain that many of them are also assholes.