Gettys-burger

In the summer of 2018, we were in Pennsylvania at Gettysburg. My son was playing Taps at the Soldiers' National Monument, centrally located in the Gettysburg National Cemetery. The event was part of 100 Nights of Taps, an annual event created by a retired United States Air Force Non-Commissioned Officer, Jari Villanueva. Considered the country’s foremost expert on military bugle calls, Villanueva spent 23 years with the United States Air Force Band.

I haven't been to Gettysburg in over a decade. The first thing I noticed was the many signs denying entry to pets, most notably dogs. While all battlegrounds sites required canines to be on leashes, the cemetery didn't allow them at all. This is unlike solemn, historical sites in New England which are often employed as toilets by dog owners who routinely turn their pooches loose to do their business. There's nothing like going to hallowed ground so Dinkles the Dog can pinch butt truffles.

I also like how everything in our country is monetized. The fast food industry is usually the first to appropriate a local historical event into their menu. While at Gettysburg I ate a buckshot burger with a side of emancipation proclamation fries. In Concord, Massachusetts I once ordered a Paul Revere panini.

Wandering around the battlegrounds, I heard the comments from many tourists. Now I know that most Americans are incapable of passing a citizen's test. Only one in a thousand can identify all five first amendment rights (freedom of religion, speech, press, association, and the ability to petition the government), but one in four can name all of the Simpsons, (Homer, Marge, Lisa, Bart and Maggie). A recent poll determined that one in five Americans could not find America on a map of America. There's an old joke my father used to say that war was invented to teach Americans geography.

Here are some of the questions asked of our tour guide while at Gettysburg.

1. What exactly happened here?
2. Is this where Ben Franklin discovered electricity?
3. What side was the Nazis on, the North or the South?
4. Did Paul Revere lead Pickett's charge?
5. Was John Quincy Adams a county medical examiner?

This is the video of my son sounding Taps at Gettysburg, and for the record the Nazis were neutral during the Civil War.

Editor's Note: Originally posted on July 28, 2018.