Science Has Given Us More Furniture

Years ago a stereo was a piece of furniture. It took up a good amount of floor space and was usually prominently displayed. It often wasn't called a "stereo" either. It was typically referred to as a "system." When visiting a friend for the first time, he would invariably ask,

“You want to see my system?”

A System Used for Playing Songs

Then you got a very detailed rundown of each component. All good systems had a 32 lever equalizer with more lights than an Umphrey's McGee concert. The individual components were stacked in a cabinet that was commonly several feet tall. The brains of the system was the receiver, the component that integrated all the other sound producing pieces. True audiophiles swear that the receiver is the most important component. I don't know about that. I always figured the speakers were the most significant items in regards to replicating sound. It must be one of those things in science that doesn't lend itself to common sense like using hot water to make ice cubes or bees flying.

Stereo sales people were the first nerds. They were well versed in technical jargon that they were all too willing to share at length. Not online sharing like we have today. I'm talking about in store sales pitches that went on for hours. Dudes just talking about how Dolby has come a long way, that the shape of the stylus is more important than the material it was made out of, or that quadraphonics will become the de facto standard for all hifi systems.

I once got trapped in a sales pitch in which the guy convinced me to sit at a desk and pull from a palette stickers representing stereophonic components. I was supposed to stack them up into "my dream system." I wasn't sure why I was doing this, but I did anyway. They say that one geek experience doesn't make you a nerd, but I'm not sure. When I finished, the sales guy asked,

"Will we be getting speakers with this system?"

Being the ever present consummate dick that I've been now for most of my life, I answered,

"Yes, otherwise we won't know when it’s on.”

The sales person wanted me to take my little art project home and stick it on my refrigerator to motivate me each morning on my way to work. After a few years if I was lucky, I could afford my dream system. That's the way we did things before computers back in the day because we were lame.

How could something so substantial and referred to as a system be replaced by a puny iPod? People never pull out a mobile device from their back pocket and say,

"Let me show you my system."

iPod

Dolby is dead. Needles passé. Stack stereo systems have gone the way of the waterbed, the CD tower, land lines, clackers and Rick Springfield. Steve Jobs probably had a large system. He likely had a fulltime guy hired just to manage his system. One day after belittling several employees, Steve went home to rock out to some Talking Heads on his system. After staring at his system for several minutes, mesmerized by the lights and levers, the Dolby, the sharp point of the needle, Steve declared,


"Wouldn't it be nice if this thing had a phone?"

He spent the remainder of the afternoon placing a red dial up phone on top of his system. After getting it in just the right place, Steve waxed,

"This thing would be great if it was smaller."

The real question with the first iPods was whether the sophisticated ear of the public would accept the lower quality music from the device. I'm sure it was argued in heated meetings at Apple. The audiophiles on one side of the table, the nerds on the other, debating the merits of quality versus portability. Admittedly, music from an iPod sounds the same to me. True audiophiles say vinyl is the best. I can't tell the difference between one of those Edison drums and an iPod. If I was in attendance in an Apple meetings I would have said,

"For fuck sake, getting rid of the dust biscuits alone makes it worth it."

It turns out that no one really cared about the minute degradation in sound quality experienced with the first iPods compared to the huge piece of furniture that once sat in our family rooms. Only hardcore audiophiles have stack stereo systems today. I suspect most of them can't hear the difference in sound quality either. 

Vanilla Ice

When you wanted to listen to music back then, you had to actually find the physical copy, an album or tape, and place it on or in the stereo. Every time you played a record, it degraded just a little. Your music collection was continuously edging towards oblivion with your favorite tunes leading the way. Every so often your system would eat a cassette or a vinyl record would get scratched resulting in a “skip.” Eventually compact discs took hold ensuring that your collection would last far longer than your interest in the music of your youth. This is why people my age still have a CD by a guy called "Vanilla Ice" who today openly admits that his music sucked back then. Today he hosts a home improvement show on cable flipping shithole houses. Technology has come so far that we are able to carry our entire music catalog with us on our phone. Now, at any time and in any place, I can play the music I listened to in high school even though I hate all of it as much as I hated high school. It's a good time to be alive.

Some scientific advances bring forth lifesaving vaccinations, others get you from point A to point B more quickly. Mobile devices allow you to stay connected to your friends and family while also buying shit you don't need with a currency you can't hold from an internet you can't see. It lets big tech companies track your every move and surveil your activities so they can send you targeted ads for overpriced merchandise manufactured in a country suspected of gross human rights violations.

Sure, the iPod gave you all that and more. Today without a stereo in your family room, you have yet another place to sit and listen to all the music you dislike. It doesn't get any better than that.

Editor's Note: Originally posted on January 17, 2017.