Get Ready for the Super Blood Wolf Lunar Eclipse

Three Wolves and Moon

Sunday, January 20, 2019. Remember the date because that's when a once in a lifetime, celestial event will occur. The super, blood, wolf lunar eclipse, viewable from North and South America, will start at precisely 9:36 pm in the Eastern Time Zone and last a little over five hours. Like most once in a lifetime, celestial events, you'll miss it if you forget while drinking beer instead. What makes this eclipse so special is that the moon is very near its closest approach to earth. That's the "super" part. Astrophysicists explain that even though the moon is near perigee, it won't look any larger which always puzzles me since for most of my life, things closer look bigger. They say that the moon will be brighter, but not necessarily larger. I don't get it, but that's okay.

In colonial days, a full moon in January was called a "wolf" moon. They also called a drunk dude who urinated under the table into his buddy's shoes, "The Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas." That must have been a common occurrence to have such an oddly, descriptive moniker. The "blood" refers to the red hue the moon takes on near peak. Lunar eclipses are fairly common. There was three when my wife, Christine, was pregnant with our first son, Aidan, and two when she carried our second, William.
 
This eclipse is different, though, being super, blood, wolf and total for some. An eclipse like this rates my three wolf and moon t-shirt which I wear only on special occasions like anniversaries, weddings and once in lifetime celestial events. Amazon sells the three wolf and moon t-shirt which has well over 3,000 reviews, the vast majority of which are five star. People make many dubious claims such as the shirt endows the wearer with special powers like making them irresistibly attractive to women. One guy claimed that after he and his wife struggled to conceive, they bought the three wolves and moon t-shirt. Now, they have a full house. He never disclosed which one of them wore the shirt during their efforts. The only negative review I read was a guy who got a defective shirt which had three moons and one wolf. Disappointing.
 
There has been a lot of interest in space in the news lately as NASA and Elon Musk have been working overtime, whipping up interest in a manned mission to Mars. Musk even called his latest rocket, "The Mars Colonial Transporter." He wants to ship a hundred people to the red planet in stainless steel, space capsules. Vermont doesn't even get that many tourists. Normally, steel is too heavy as a rocket fabrication material, but according to a recent tweet by Musk, Space X engineers treat the metal "cryogenically," which does something. I don't know what it could possibly do because it certainly can't make it less heavy.

Saturn

Musk stated that he wants to die on Mars which if he gets his way, is very likely. The temperature on Mars at noon at the equator can climb to 68°F, but at night plunges to -243°F. If you touched your tongue to a pole that was -243°F, not only would it stick, but your head would freeze solid as well. Mars has next to no atmosphere so man-made activities that increase greenhouse gases like driving cars, burning coal and pig farming would actually help. Mars is a great place for people who are tired of hearing about Global Warming. The gravity on Mars is a third that here on Earth so the best I can tell, anyone that goes there will be a superhero.

Starman

My biggest astronomical concern, apart from missing the super, blood, wolf, lunar eclipse this month, is the depletion of Saturn's rings. Recently, NASA scientists reported that the inner ring is raining down on the planet and will be gone in 100 million years. I think Congress ought to act now before Saturn's rings are gone forever. We need a long term, government study which investigates the impact of that car Musk shot into space on Saturn's rings. I, for one, don't like a Tesla floating through space, spewing all that earthly bacteria into the cosmos. Neither does the Office of Planetary Protection, a division of NASA which ensures we don't pollute other planets.

My main concern is that if and when aliens come in contact with Musk's Tesla, which he routinely drove around LA, hordes of them will be wiped out just like what happened to the American Indians when the white man arrived with their, guns, horses, internet and smallpox. Some will survive and that's where problems arise. You see, when aliens come knocking at our earthly front door, they'll be immune to terrestrial bacteria, which means they'll be free to takeover the planet, instead of being wiped out by microbes like in The War of the Worlds.

Thanks a lot Elon Musk.